In the quiet corners of Reddit’s r/AskMenOver30, a question lingers like the echo of a late-night conversation: “For those who took high-paying, high-stress jobs, was it worth it?” The responses are a mirror held up to modern manhood. Stripped of bravado and free from performance, men reflect not on earnings but on endurance. Not on titles but on tolls.
At The Solemn Sir, we believe in taking those echoes seriously.
Many of us were raised to believe our worth was defined by what we could provide. A good man works hard, stays late, climbs fast. He provides. He performs. He persists. And in the process, he loses sleep. He loses weekends. Sometimes, he loses himself.
One man in the thread spoke of his six-figure salary and the panic attacks that came with it. Another recalled sleepless nights, stomach ulcers, and the constant hum of anxiety beneath every conversation with his family. “I bought the house,” he wrote, “but I barely live in it.”
These stories are not unique. They are far too common.
The most poignant responses were not filled with bitterness. They were written with a kind of quiet regret. Men who had made it financially, only to realize they had sacrificed joy, health, and peace to get there. Some have recalibrated, trading prestige for purpose. Others still wrestle with whether they can afford to step back.
There is no single answer to the question “Was it worth it?” For some, the stress was a temporary price paid for long-term freedom. For others, it led to damage that could not be undone. What we can say, with clarity, is that thriving in a high-stress career requires more than stamina. It requires strategy, self-awareness, and support.
What You Can Do If You’re In It
Create boundaries that protect your peace
Your calendar fills quickly. Guard it with care. Block out time to rest, to connect with loved ones, and to be still. Let those hours be non-negotiable. The job will always ask for more. You do not always have to say yes.
Build a network that understands the grind
Isolation fuels burnout. Whether it is a therapist, a mentor, or a trusted friend, you need someone who can hold space for your stress without judgment. Someone who gets it. Someone who will remind you of who you are beyond the title.
Reclaim parts of your life that are not for sale
Find something you do purely for the sake of joy. A hobby, a craft, a Saturday morning ritual. Something that does not require a return on investment. Let it be yours alone. Let it ground you.
Talk to your doctor, not just your manager
Men often push through pain. But stress has a way of showing up in the body before it breaks the spirit. Get your checkups. Monitor your sleep, your blood pressure, your gut. Do not wait for a crisis to start caring.
Make a plan, even if you cannot pivot today
Not everyone can walk away. But most can take small steps. Paying off debt. Upskilling. Networking. Moving toward a life that feels less like survival. Do not just work your job. Work your way out, or at least, your way toward balance.
Let go of the need to prove something
A man’s value is not measured in burnout. You do not have to be exhausted to be worthy. You do not have to bleed to be respected. The ones who love you want you, not just what you bring home.
Thriving Means More Than Surviving
Some pressure is inevitable. Many jobs, especially those at the top, come with strain. But thriving means learning when to breathe, when to delegate, when to say no, and when to walk away.
A few men in the thread said it best. “I did not quit to be lazy. I quit to live longer,” and “I wish I had taken care of myself as much as I took care of that job.”
Let their reflections be a caution, not a condemnation. If you are deep in the grind, take stock. Not just of your bank account, but of your body, your boundaries, and your being. Life’s richest rewards do not always come with direct deposits.
And if you have already stepped back, tell your story. Others need to hear it.