Man, I can only imagine how tough that is after twenty years. That is not just a separation, it is your whole world shifting. The routines, the quiet moments, even the arguments—they all leave a space behind. It hits hard, and it is okay if you feel like you are just getting by right now.
You do not need to solve everything today. Just take care of the basics. Eat, get some rest, and try to stay active. Some days will be harder than others, but you will get through them. You are not alone in this.
How are you doing?