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Hey, new user here and am searching for someone who has had a similar experience and overcame it.
My whole life I have struggled with people disrespecting me…I never know how to respond…it always throws me off guard when people disrespect me verbally. I always toil with whether I want to walk around with a guard up or just think who cares just let it happen… I think this is partially a reason I have done martial arts, I am no coward and have fought competitively so I can handle physical confrontation.
I think this steps from my dad always belittling and making me feel inadequate. I can take it myself I don’t care that much but I have 2 young kids and I would hate for them to go through these feelings that I have as well. How can I learn to stand up for myself? Should I become the grouchy always on guard person? I feel like that is a weak way of being.
Please help.
That kind of disrespect shit messes with your head, especially when it started with your old man. But you’re not him. You’ve already done more than he ever did just by giving a damn about how this affects your kids.
Here’s how I’d handle it:
Don’t walk around looking for a fight, but don’t swallow crap either. Keep your cool till someone really steps over the line. Then speak up.
Have a few sharp lines ready. Stuff like “You done?” or “Say that again, slower.” You don’t need to yell. Just sound like you mean it.
Let go of the past when you can. Your dad’s voice doesn’t get to run your life anymore.
Your kids are watching. If they see you handle disrespect without turning cold or weak, they’ll learn how to do the same.
You don’t need to be the angry guy or the guy who says nothing. Be the man who knows exactly when to speak and when to let shit slide. That’s strength.
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